Are you a cufflink?

Are you a cufflink?

Recently I was looking for inspiration for what gift to give my guy for abiding by a legal contract for a decade now. Men in general are difficult to shop for - unless you’ve been blessed with a dramatically acquisitional one, which, spoiler alert, I haven't. 

The blogs/ inspirational pages and gift sites were tremendously unhelpful, but 1 thing I always see on these lists is “cufflinks” and I always wonder - “Who in the actual world (and is not stinking rich) would wear these?” and yet, they appear without fail on most websites.

Cufflinks got me thinking - no this is not about me curating a list of shoppable for your man, but they did get me thinking. Cufflinks made me think of human cufflinks, get your mind out of the gutter - I am talking about inconsequential existence.

I see people trying to just “be”. Following the advice and words of someone else blindly; just so the other person's life is rightly structured. Essentially reducing themselves to a perpetual supporting role in life. The problem with this is that it’s the role that is permanent, but you are replaceable. You are dispensable.  

While not everyone can be a leading character at all times - my god what a chaotic world that would be! But there should be our shining moments…moments of recognition; when we are the saviour of the day. The adrenaline rush from recognition and validation is what etches the wool of memory with events, people and words.

Most of the days when I feel it will be easy to just blend in, hold my silence or just be non - confrontational so that everyone else is comfortable, my baseline question to myself before I do just that, is - if I’d be able to stand by what I did. Would I think back to this time and wonder if I was a cufflink - someone who was just present; and present or not would have not made a difference either way. 

This is the reason you'd see me vocalise my thoughts, stand and disdain quite cheerfully and with a lot of gusto. Not tooting my own horn and full disclosure, this has led to uncomfortable gatherings, colourful anecdotes and definitely some tags from friends and family too.

But at the end of it all, I know I look back and don't for a second wish that I'd just shut the hell up. But does that mean I've never been the beige blending in the background? - of course I have. To this day those moments make me shut my eyes, grit my teeth and mentally kick myself with bricks.

So I’d rather be the wine stained cuff that everyone notices, whispers or points out than be a cufflink, which sits demurely on a cuff under an even more expensive blazer - hidden, not seen and whose existence is all but nearly forgotten.

If you are finding yourself in the supporting role for way too long, then it's time to take the centre stage. Trust me, I would wholeheartedly drop by at your doorstep for the much needed push or a swift kick to the backside; but since I can't, well the next best thing is to grab a studioSY creation and channel the energy from there ;)

So get going! Dress like the leading lady you definitely could be.

Here's to making a mark, a gorge or even a crater...cheers!


Featured Illustration: Handwoven organza saree "Honey Lavender"

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